Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Den of Iniquity

Maybe it was the fact that we were buzzing from drinking frozen margaritas at Guzman's.  Maybe it was because one of the couples we were with don't get out much and were keen to keep our casual Sunday night dinner going.  Whatever it was, something wicked led us to Freestyle Tout at Emporium, or as I like to call it, "the Den of Iniquity".

We thought we'd just have a little look at the menu.  How bad could it be to have just one little peek?  We could stop if we wanted to.  Sure we could. 

Oh but we were wrong.  So very wrong.

For those who haven't ventured into Freestyle Tout's evil lair before, you should know that you will come out a changeling.  Or rather, you will come out so hepped up on chocolate, sugar and fat that you won't quite know where you are.  You may also come out perturbed by the fact that you have done something that you're not proud of.  Something you may not want to talk about.

As Brisbane's premier dessert bar, Freestyle is a dark place, a sinful place, and oh so very naughty. 

Perusing the dessert menu, it was saucy, rich and self indulgent.  Utterly gratuitous.  And we liked it.  I mean they had sticky date pudding and churros and mousse.  And crumble.  And tart.  And cheesecake.  And brulee.  On the same menu.  WERE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS?  Yes they were.  These people were depraved.

Before we knew what we were doing, we were ordering straight off the dessert menu.  We knew it was wrong but it felt so right.  As we waited for our orders, feet tapping nervously on the floor, the conversation topics turned saucy, rich and self indulgent too.  From who's dating who, to relationships, to marriage, our fellow dessert degenerates delved deeper and deeper.

And then the iced chocolate arrived.

Eyes almost popped out of heads as a hushed silence fell on the table and cheeks flushed.  The thing was massive.  Perverted.  They had tipped half a bottle of chocolate topping into it.  At this point we became a little uncertain.  Had we stumbled into someplace we didn't belong?  Could we handle what was to come? 

Before long the next order came out.  The Lindt Chocolate Saucy Pudding.

This obscene creation is probably one of the best things on the menu at Freestyle.  I mean Lindt chocolate is like edible porn on its own.  But use it to make a pudding.  Top it with chocolate ice cream, a white chocolate swirl decoration and surround it with an oozing pool of white and dark chocolate sauce.  That is just twisted.

And then there was the Chocolate Deluxe Sundae.  Simple.  Devious.  Deviant.  A shard of chocolate crassly sticking out of it. 

My husband hunched over it, his arm around the perimeter, protecting it from attack by neighbouring dessert eaters.  Or should I say lotus eaters?

And then the White Chocolate Raspberry Brioche Dumplings arrived.

What kind of miscreant bakes raspberry brioche laced with butter, turns it into a dumpling fit for frying, kinkily inserts white chocolate inside it, deep fries them like a simple donuts and rolls the precious parcels in SUGAR!!!??  Someone with a serious dessert addiction.  Then to serve along side it both white and dark chocolate sauce with raspberries?  Pure dastardliness.

As the chocolate, sugar and fat quickened our pulses, conversation topics plumbed new depths.  Before we could stop we were talking sex.  From positions to sex toys, to porn.  It all came out, uncontrollably as we stabbed madly at our desserts at fever pitch.  Giggles escaped lips.  Eyes rolled in heads.  And spoons moved mechanically back and forth from plate to mouth.

And then as quickly as it had begun, it was over and we were left sheepishly licking the chocolate sauce from spoons, fingers and chins. 

Like the morning after, it was all a little bit awkward and embarrassing.  After hastily getting the bill and quickly making our separate exits, without meeting each other's eyes, there was pause for thought.  One thing was for certain.  We would never speak of our encounter with Brisbane's Den if Iniquity again.

Freestyle Tout on Urbanspoon

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Sunnybank sojourn: A real Brisbane Food Adventure!!!

I'm always on the lookout for new food adventures around Brisbane.  My favourite stomping ground at the moment is Brisbane's Asian mecca: Sunnybank.  I used to think Chinatown in the Valley was where it was at, Asian style.  But Sunnybank is a lot more authentic and features a whole lot more choices in Asian cuisine.  From Japanese to Vietnamese to Chinese to Malaysian - Sunnybank has it all.

Recently I've taken to heading to Sunnybank on a Saturday or Sunday lunchtime with a few friends to get my dim sum on, or try out the pho at a hole in the wall noodle place in one of the shopping enclaves.  Afterwards with bellies fit to burst, we tend to stray into the Sunnybank Plaza or Market Square to fossick amongst the $2 shops and food stores and to see how Sunnybankers kick it on the weekend.

During one of these afternoon sojourns we stumbled upon a few gems in Sunnybank Plaza which must be on your to visit list if you're planning an excursion down Sunnybank way.

Ma Baker

We were first drawn to this place cos it sounds funny IT'S MA BAKER!!  Yehyeh!

It's pretty close to MOS Burger so I recommend you check this place out for dessert after you've had your yakiniku rice burger meal deal.  Grab a tray and some tongs and you can put together a delicious array of Asian bakery treats to take home for your eating pleasure!


If Ma Baker hasn't quelled your appetite and you need more Asian bakery delights, head inside Sunnybank Plaza and check out Breadtop.  These Asian style bakeries are pretty ubiquitous these days and are springing up all over Brisbane - including in the Myer Centre and Edward Street in the City.

I mean where else can you get a cake shaped like a cute doggy?

Or a bamboo charcoal roll that "eases the digestive system, helping discharge impurities and unhealthy substances from stomach"?  Just tasted like burnt garlic bread actually.

Hotcake House

But nothing could have prepared us for the unbelievable deliciousness of piping hot Tokyo pancakes from Hotcake House!!!

It's situated right near Landmark inside the shopping centre opposite Sunrise Butcher.  The cheery staff stand there all day churning out these tasty pancakes, filling them with gooey delicious centres such as chocolate, strawberry, coconut, redbean and even corn.  YUMYUMYUM!  You just cannot go to Sunnybank without eating these treats.  Chocolate is definitely my favourite:

OH YEAH!!!  "It is either to eat with hot made cake or after keep in the fridge" according to signs at the establishment.  My advice is eat them hot and as quickly as possible!
Hot Cake House on Urbanspoon

Sunrise Butcher

And the final stop in your Sunnybank Plaza excursion should be my new favourite butcher "Sunrise" just opposite Hotcake House.  This place is FANTASTIC!  Not only do they have delicious chinese roasted meats glistening and dripping with fat in the front window...

...but they have the sexiest and CHEAPEST array of pork and beef I've ever seen...
Not only that, but they have a good range of frozen crocodile meat, spatchcock and quail as well as dried de-boned duck.  Definitely where I'll be going to get the meats for my next dinner party!